Kayla Hayes is a survivor of abuse who's now sharing her story in hopes of helping others. After surviving a horrific assault and dealing with months of recovery, she started her own organization, Rise Above, to inspire others and to raise awareness.

You can find Kayla, here:

https://www.facebook.com/InTheEndIWillRise/

https://www.instagram.com/kaylahayes101/

https://www.instagram.com/_intheendiwillrise/

You can find us, The Bulletproof Club, here:

https://www.thebulletproofclub.com/

https://www.facebook.com/thebulletproofclub

https://www.instagram.com/thebulletproofclub_/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXXTm_aH_teaPcruqR0j66Q/videos

You can find Danielle Esplin, here:

https://www.danielleesplin.com/

https://www.instagram.com/danielleesplin

https://www.facebook.com/officialdanielleesplin

In this episode we discuss the following:

[00:00 ] Intro: The Bulletproof Club and Kayla Hayes Introduction

[01:28 ] Meeting Seth Fleury (ex-boyfriend)

[02:19 ] Kayla Hayes Dating History

[02:38 ] How Kayla Hayes Realized he wasn't the guy he pretended to be

[03:40 ] Controlling behavior of Seth Fleury (concessions)

[04:14 ] Discussing whether Kayla's family (mom) picked on the signs/abusive relationship

[04:50 ] Discussing whether Kayla's friends picked up on the abuse

[05:00 ] Friend Isolation

[05:47 ] Feeling ashamed about abuse

[06:07 ] Danielle thanking Kayla for being brave and transparent

[06:27 ] Length of Kayla's relationship - past break ups

[07:20 ] Discussing gaslighting, responsibility & accountability

[08:03 ] Statistic - how many times it take the average person to leave an abusive relationship. Positive impact of these interviews.

[08:18 ] Denial & looking for answers & avoidance

[08:36 ] Mentality that kept her in her abusive relationship

[08:44 ] Discussing desperation & loneliness

[08:56 ] Reason for meeting up with Seth. Reason for breaking up. Why they met up the day of the assault.

[10:07 ] Discussing Seth leaving to be in the Navy.

[10:35 ] Discussing possibility of premeditation - cards Seth gave Kayla

[11:;17] Discussing the "kiss" and the moment of the assault

[11:59 ] Help of the good Samaritans

[12:30 ] The moment Kayla realized Seth bit her lip off

[12:18 ] Discussing the good Samaritans

[13:45 ] The moment Seth ran off.

[14:10 ] Where Seth went right after the attack

{14:19 } Kayla's mother not being home

[14:29 ] Seth's ignorance

{14:44 } The moment the cops and ambulance arrived. Their reaction

[15:10 ] Discussing the plastic surgery right after the attack

[15:45 ] Discussing Kayla's scars

[15:56 ] How the surgeon decided how to fix her lip and what to do

[16:50 ] Kayla discussing how wonderful her surgeon was (the importance of a surgeon's compassion after an attack like this)

[17:35 ] The amount of stitches required to fix her lip and the recovery process (duration)

[18:13 ] Laser treatments

[18:26 ] Second surgery

[18:45 ] Danielle admiring Kayla - Kayla's strength and bravery

[19:06 ] Danielle asking about staying overnight at the hospital. Discussing the hospital, assigning a psychologist.

[19:37 ] How Kayla started to heal psychologically. How she found her healing

[19:55 ] How her friends found out about the attack. Not being able to talk

[20"05] Discussing not having her mom around at the time of the attack. How her mother found out about the attack.

[20:50 ] Discussing Kayla's Facebook post - paramedics asking Kayla to speak. The moment Kayla realized she couldn't pronounce words in the ambulance.

[22:13 ] Police - how the case started. Kayla's statement.

[23:11 ] Duration of the court case. Seth's arrest on the 21st of October.

[23:20 ] Seth being out and about for an entire year during the court case. Bail. His ankle monitor.

[23:30 ] Seth Pleading guilty.

[23:32 ] Kayla receiving horrifying calls from the GPS company of Seth's ankle monitor.

[24:05 ] Kayla not going outside at the time alone.

[24:14 ] Kayla moved house due to PTSD.

[25:29 ] Seeing Seth again. Social media of Seth after the attack. Seth's behavior on social media.

[26:00 ] Testifying against her abuser & impact statement in court.

[26:57 ] Kayla's expectations in court - sentencing.

[27:58 ] Asking Kayla about cognitive dissonance.

[28:20 ] Kayla discussing self-blame and trying to help him. Realizing who Seth really is.

[29:07 ] Asking Kayla what helped her to make that mental shift to see him for who he really is

[30:00 ] Kayla's biggest life-changing experience after the attack. Who helped her the most during this difficult time

[30:36 ] Reconnecting to her old friends (after isolation)

[30:50 ] Kayla discussing the most damaging advice she got after the attack. Backlash

[31:15 ] Discussing judgmental people trying to victim blame

[31:49 ] Seth's sentencing

[32:00 ] Her protection for when Seth gets out of prison

[32:17 ] Kayla's practical steps she took to recover. Outlet for recovery. Sharing her story

[33:15 ] Kayla's mindset - how she grew throughout the year since the attack

[33:46 ] Media's involvement - Kayla breaking her silence on social media

[35:10 ] Seth ruining his life, not Kayla - not blaming herself for his actions

[35:30 ] Discussing a possible apology (letter) from Seth

[35:59 ] Kayla discussing Rise Above & her scars

[37:22 ] Discussing a video on Kayla's Facebook page - burning letters to abusers

[38:07 ] Being sentimental & parting with things. Healing is a process

[39:01 ] Thanking Kayla and discussing the impact of this interview. Raising awareness and helping others

[39:39 ] Kayla's take-away message. Educating yourself.

[40:14 ] Danielle discusses the importance of taking action

[40:38 ] Kayla's plans with Rise Above

[40:59 ] Danielle asking Kayla if she had other plans with her future before the attack happened.

[41:16 ] Kayla finding her purpose in life.

[41:31 ] Danielle and Kayla discussing their excitement to raise awareness together and keeping each other updated.